Yo, Evan!
It was pouring rain in San Diego today. Having lived here for two years now I can attest to the fact that rain is a rare event. I’m not sure the natives were thrilled but I for one welcomed the fresh change to what is otherwise almost perfect weather year round. Growing up in Massachusetts I thought weather forecasters had the most challenging job on the planet. Now I realize that statement is relative. Meteorologists in San Diego are hardly ever wrong because it’s essentially 60-80 degrees twelve months a year with a slim chance of rain…. except for today, that is.
So in the midst of the downpour, off I drove to JimBo’s, the local natural & organic food grocer. JimBo’s is like a miniature WholeFoods Market where I spend hundreds of dollars a week feeding my children non-GMO foods and buying myself the occasional bottle of organic wine. (A mom’s gotta have a vice or two, right?) Today’s mission was to get the ingredients for a gigantic batch of Evan’s daily breakfast entrée… spinach and lentil soup.
Inside JimBo’s I whipped through aisles like a pro, knowing my children have a finite patience span. Because of my haste it wasn’t until I was at the checkout register that I had my first moment of mindfulness. I try to practice being fully present but admittedly between autism parenting and the person I’ve always been I am by nature a highly distracted girl. But there, at the checkout, as I unloaded my cart in ritualistic style I was brought front and center to the NOW moment. Suddenly I heard my cashier banter out to another cashier, “Yo, EVAN!!!” followed by a friendly back-n-forth teasing about some seemingly random but funny anecdote.
Now I should tell you, I already knew there was a cashier there named Evan. In fact, he knows me & my two autistic boys very well. So it wasn’t hearing my eldest son’s name that awakened me, but rather it was the way in which it was spoken. Like today’s rain it was a fresh change from my general experience. The voice that laughed and yelled “Yo, Evan!” played over & over in my head until I exited the store. It sounded so very different from the ways in which I speak or even hear the name Evan said daily. In my world there’s a regular dose of sing-song “Hiiiii, Evan…..” when someone greets my son yet at the same time is expecting him to not respond. Then there’s a fair share of staccato “EVAN!!!!” when he’s darting into an unsafe environment or eloping from what he’s being expected to do. Gratefully there’s also a decent amount of sweet whispering “Evaaaan” (which I adore) as he’s surrounded by adults who love and accept him just the way he is now yet inspire him to grow and become all he can be. But today I realized there’s even more out there. Maybe someday there will be a co-worker yelling out “Yo, Evan” followed by a funny joke that he will understand and laugh back at. In that very moment I realized that I haven’t yet considered the heights to which my currently non-verbal son will reach.
As I strive to create a reality for myself and my family that not only embraces autism but also tries to go beyond the range or limits of that diagnosis I have to remember to be continuously present to the possibilities. I believe it was in my high school graduation speech I ended with the phrase “Aim low, boring. Aim high, soaring.” I'll take that as a self-fulfilling prophecy and choose now to aim high.... "Yo, Evan!" Let’s do this!
